Have you ever found yourself thinking, “God, please don’t let this be the way my story unfolds"? Life often looks so very different than we hoped or expected. Some events may simply catch us off guard for a moment, but others shatter us completely. We feel disappointed and disillusioned, and we quietly start to wonder about the reality of God’s goodness.

In this study, we also examine Catholic teaching on suffering featuring the Apostolic letter “SALVIFICI DOLORIS” by Pope St. John Paul II and various writings from our beloved Saints and the Catholic Catechism.

During This Online Study, You'll Learn To

• Stop being pulled into the anxiety of disappointment by discovering how to better process unmet expectations and other painful situations.

• Train ourselves to recognize the three strategies of the enemy so we can stand strong and persevere through unsettling relationships and uncertain outcomes.

• Discover the secret of being steadfast and not panicking when God actually does give us more than we can handle.

• Shift our suspicion that God is cruel or unfair to the biblical assurance that God is protecting and preparing us.

• Know how to encourage a friend and help her navigate hard realities with real help from God's truth.

• Be strengthened through the Saints as a witness of suffering united to Christ Jesus.

• Learn how prayer and the wisdom of Catholic teaching can deepen the intimate bond between the cross, the epitome of the sufferings of Christ, and our suffering which is a participation in the self-same cross.

week one

Readings this week: Introduction & Chapter One (download here)

Chapter 1 Reflect & Jounal

Between Two Gardens ~ The human heart was created in the context of the perfection of the garden of Eden. But we don’t live there now.

REFLECT: • What disappointments are you currently facing? • Are there any long-standing untruths you’ve been believing about your disappointments? • As you look back and consider the past, what gifts have come out of your disappointments? • In what ways can you learn to wrestle well in the midst of your right-now life? • How does this teaching on the garden of Eden help you have a better understanding of what you’re going through?

REMEMBER: • Sometimes to get your life back, you have to face the death of what you thought your life would look like. • Disappointment is that feeling things should be better than they are. • Disappointment isn’t proof that God is withholding good things from us. Sometimes it’s His way of leading us Home. • If the enemy can isolate us, he can influence us. • We will never appreciate or even desire the hope of our True Love if lesser loves don’t disappoint. • God knows before we eternally dwell we will have to learn how to wrestle well. • In the new Eden we won’t need to wrestle well, because we will be well.

RECEIVE: “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” (Revelation 21:3–5)

PRAYER: “Father, Living in the messy middle between two gardens is so trying at times. Teach me to wrestle well between my faith and my feelings when life disappoints in ways I never imagined. My disappointments don’t feel like a gift at all, but I’m going to trust You—the Giver of good gifts. Release an atmosphere of hope in my right-now life, I pray this through Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.”

Prayer to strengthen the gifts of the Holy Spirit, given to us at Baptism and fully matured in Confirmation:

“O Lord Jesus Christ, Who, before ascending into heaven, didst promise to send the Holy Ghost to finish Thy work in the souls of Thy Apostles and Disciples, deign to grant the same Holy Spirit to me, that He may perfect in my soul the work of Thy grace and Thy love.

Grant me the Spirit of Wisdom that I may despise the perishable things of this world and aspire only after the things that are eternal,

the Spirit of Understanding to enlighten my mind with the light of Thy divine truth,

the Spirit of Counsel that I may ever choose the surest way of pleasing God and gaining Heaven,

the Spirit of Fortitude that I may bear my cross with Thee, and that I may overcome with courage all the obstacles that oppose my salvation,

the Spirit of Knowledge that I may know God and know myself and grow perfect in the science of the Saints,

the Spirit of Piety that I may find the service of God sweet and amiable,

the Spirit of Fear that I may be filled with a loving reverence towards God, and may dread in any way to displease Him.

Mark me, dear Lord, with the sign of Thy true disciples and animate me in all things with Thy Spirit. Amen.

To make a novena to the Holy Spirit for a greater outpouring of graces visit https://www.ewtn.com/catholicism/library/novena-to-the-holy-ghost-for-the-seven-gifts-9112

“Even though in its subjective dimension, as a personal fact contained within man's concrete and unrepeatable interior, suffering seems almost inexpressible and not transferable, perhaps at the same time nothing else requires as much as does suffering, in its "objective reality", to be dealt with, meditated upon, and conceived as an explicit problem; and that therefore basic questions be asked about it and the answers sought. It is evident that it is not a question here merely of giving a description of suffering. There are other criteria which go beyond the sphere of description, and which we must introduce when we wish to penetrate the world of human suffering. Medicine, as the science and also the art of healing, discovers in the vast field of human sufferings the best known area, the one identified with greater precision and relatively more counterbalanced by the methods of "reaction" (that is, the methods of therapy). Nonetheless, this is only one area. The field of human suffering is much wider, more varied, and multi-dimensional. Man suffers in different ways, ways not always considered by medicine, not even in its most advanced specializations. Suffering is something which is still wider than sickness, more complex and at the same time still more deeply rooted in humanity itself. A certain idea of this problem comes to us from the distinction between physical suffering and moral suffering. This distinction is based upon the double dimension of the human being and indicates the bodily and spiritual element as the immediate or direct subject of suffering. Insofar as the words "suffering" and "pain", can, up to a certain degree, be used as synonyms, physical suffering is present when "the body is hurting" in some way, whereas moral suffering is "pain of the soul". In fact, it is a question of pain of a spiritual nature, and not only of the "psychological" dimension of pain which accompanies both moral and physical suffering The vastness and the many forms of moral suffering are certainly no less in number than the forms of physical suffering. But at the same time, moral suffering seems as it were less identified and less reachable by therapy.” Salvific Doloris, 5

Week Two

Readings this week: Chapters 2, 3 ,4 of It’s Not Supposed to be This Way

“What broken places in your heart and life right now feel like much more than you can handle?

There’s this wonderful Christian story I could tell you. It’s the one that talks about how we can pick up the broken pieces, glue them back together and then let God’s light shine through our cracks. That’s beautiful.

But what about those times when things aren’t just broken but shattered beyond repair? Shattered to the point of dust. At least when things are broken there’s some hope you can glue the pieces back together.

But what if there aren’t even pieces to pick up in front of you?

You can’t glue dust.

It’s hard to hold dust. What was once something so very precious is now reduced to nothing but weightless powder even the slightest wind could carry away. We feel desperately hopeless. Dust begs us to believe the promises of God no longer apply to us. That the reach of God falls just short of where we are. And that the hope of God has been snuffed out by the consuming darkness all around us.

Walking through a season of dust is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And if we could sit down over coffee, I imagine you would have some kind of dust story that you could share with me too. We are alike in that way. We’re united with our tears, even if our circumstances are different.

God didn’t cause this but He is allowing it… and that’s hard to process. We want God to fix it all. Edit this story so it has a different ending. Repair this heartbreaking reality.

But what if fixing, editing and repairing isn’t at all what God has in mind for us in this shattering?

What if, this time, God desires to make something completely brand-new? Right now. On this side of eternity. No matter how shattered our circumstances may seem.

You see, dust is the exact ingredient God loves to use. But, we have to be willing to hand it all over to Him.

We think the shattering in our lives could not possibly be for any good. But what if shattering is the only way to get dust back to its basic form so that something new can be made? We can see dust as a result of an unfair breaking. Or we can see dust as a crucial ingredient.

Think about a plain piece of ice. If the ice stays in a cube, it will always be just a square of ice. But if the ice melts it can be poured into a beautiful form to reshape it when frozen again. Dust is much the same; it’s the basic ingredient with such great potential for new life.

Of all the things God could have used to make man, He chose to use dust. “Then the LORD God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being” (Genesis 2:7).

Jesus used the dust of the ground to restore a man’s sight. Jesus said, “‘While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.’ After saying this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes” (John 9:5–6). And after the man washed in the pool of Siloam, he went home seeing.

And, when mixed with water, dust becomes clay. Clay, when placed in the potter’s hands, can be formed into anything the potter dreams up!

“Yet You, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” (Isaiah 64:8)

“‘Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?’ declares the LORD. ‘Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel.’” (Jeremiah 18:6)

Oh, how I love and need the hope God has tucked into these verses.

Dust doesn’t have to signify the end. Dust is often what must be present for the new to begin.

I know it’s hard, friend — being shattered. Feeling like it’s all too much. I know it hurts. But I also know this: We can trust our God. We can trust Him with our dust.

Our greatest disappointments and disillusionments, those things that shake us and break us and make us wonder about everything, they don’t have to mean that all hope is lost. We can place our lives fully in the hands of the Potter. We can dare to believe He is making something glorious out of dust, out of us.”

― Lysa TerKeurst, from Chapter 2 of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered

Chapter 2 Reflect & Journal

Dust doesn’t have to signify the end. Dust is often what must be present for the new to begin.

REFLECT: • When has your life felt shattered to the point of dust? • How do you relate to the story of Adam and Eve’s disobedience? • Where are you hoping for a new beginning? • In what ways are you willing to trust God’s process for your life?

REMEMBER: • We live in a broken world where broken things happen. • Dust is the exact ingredient God loves to use. • God speaks in a language of freedom; Satan speaks in a language of restriction. • God is our only source of perfection on this side of eternity. And He sees a perfect plan for our dust. • If I want His promises, I have to trust His process. • God isn’t ever going to forsake you, but He will go to great lengths to remake you. • What if disappointment is really the exact appointment your soul needs to radically encounter God?

RECEIVE: Yet You, Lord, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. (Isaiah 64:8) Also read: Genesis 2—3 Jeremiah 18:6 John 9:5–6 2 Corinthians 5:1–5 Revelation 21:5

PRAYER: “Father, This world is broken and broken things happen—yes. Even still, I can’t help but feel utterly shattered and disillusioned when heartbreak is a part of my story. I don’t like this—I don’t like dust. But dust is one of Your favorite ingredients to use when making something new, and I believe You are working right now to do this very thing in my life. I know You will never forsake me, but that You will go to great lengths to remake me. Thank You. I pray this through Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.”

“In itself human suffering constitutes as it were a specific "world" which exists together with man, which appears in him and passes, and sometimes does not pass, but which consolidates itself and becomes deeply rooted in him. This world of suffering, divided into many, very many subjects, exists as it were "in dispersion". Every individual, through personal suffering, constitutes not only a small part of that a world", but at the same time" that world" is present in him as a finite and 4 unrepeatable entity. Parallel with this, however, is the interhuman and social dimension. The world of suffering possesses as it were its own solidarity. People who suffer become similar to one another through the analogy of their situation, the trial of their destiny, or through their need for understanding and care, and perhaps above all through the persistent question of the meaning of suffering. Thus, although the world of suffering exists "in dispersion", at the same time it contains within itself a. singular challenge to communion and solidarity. We shall also try to follow this appeal in the present reflection. Considering the world of suffering in its personal and at the same time collective meaning, one cannot fail to notice the fact that this world, at some periods of time and in some eras of human existence, as it were becomes particularly concentrated. This happens, for example, in cases of natural disasters, epidemica, catastrophes, upheavals and various social scourges: one thinks, for example, of a bad harvest and connected with it - or with various other causes - the scourge of famine. One thinks, finally, of war. I speak of this in a particular way. I speak of the last two World Wars, the second of which brought with it a much greater harvest of death and a much heavier burden of human sufferings. The second half of our century, in its turn, brings with it—as though in proportion to the mistakes and transgressions of our contemporary civilization—such a horrible threat of nuclear war that we cannot think of this period except in terms of an incomparable accumulation of sufferings, even to the possible self-destruction of humanity. In this way, that world of suffering which in brief has its subject in each human being, seems in our age to be transformed—perhaps more than at any other moment—into a special "world": the world which as never before has been transformed by progress through man's work and, at the same time, is as never before in danger because of man's mistakes and offences” (Salvifici Doloris, 8)

Chapter 3 Reflect & Journal

But How Do I Get Through The Next 86,400 Seconds? God loves me too much to answer my prayers at any other time than the right time and in any other way than the right way.

REFLECT: • Which of your prayers are going seemingly unanswered by God? • How are you inviting the Lord into your everyday situations, and how can you improve in drawing near to Him? • God is powerfully at work in your life and situation. What would it look like for you to rest in that truth today?

REMEMBER: • God will eventually make everything okay. • The longer we avoid the feeling, the more we delay our healing. • God doesn’t want to be explained away; He wants to be invited in. • Disappointments aren’t a reason to run away. They are the reason to turn a different way. • I find relief for my unbelief by laying down my human assessments and assumptions.

RECEIVE: Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. (Proverbs 13:12) Also read: Proverbs 13:12 Matthew 6:9–11 Mark 14:36 Hebrews 2:14–15, 17–18; 3:1; 5:7–9

PRAYER: “Father, You are so very good. You can be trusted. Help me mark the hard moments of this day with declarations of my trust in You. There is more to what I’m facing today than what my physical eyes can see. When my pain feels too deep and when I don’t think I can take one more second of suffering, help me recognize Your plan and protection. Help me trade my unbelief for the beautiful relief that I don’t have to figure this out. I just have to fix my thoughts on Jesus and how He will lead me. I mark this moment as a moment of trust. I declare I don’t have to understand. I just have to trust. I pray this through Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.”

CCC 1501 Illness can lead to anguish, self-absorption, sometimes even despair and revolt against God. It can also make a person more mature, helping him discern in his life what is not essential so that he can turn toward that which is. Very often illness provokes a search for God and a return to him.

For a deeper look into the spiritual combat and for terrific tools to battle the enemy download the Catholic classic “Spiritual Combat” by Laurence Scupoli

Chapter 4 Reflect & Journal

Tan Feet ~ When you live slow for a season, the Son has access to the parts of you normally covered up by everyday put-ons.

REFLECT: • Whom have you given so much power to that their words about you being naked make you afraid? How have their words affected you? • Have you ever feared dealing with your own covered-up places so much that you attempted to expose others instead? How has that played out? • How are you living paralyzed by fear instead of in the reality that you are deeply loved by God?

REMEMBER: • I must learn to control how much I allow fear to have access to my life. • The enemy wants us paralyzed and compromised by what-ifs, opinions, accusations, and misunderstandings. • To dwell well in this life between two gardens requires us to make peace with being naked and unashamed. • We must let God’s Word become the words of our story. • I am deeply loved by God, even in my most naked form.

RECEIVE: Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. (Genesis 2:25) Also read: Genesis 3:9, 11 2 Timothy 1:7

PRAYER: “Father, I confess that I spend too much time mentally revisiting the hurtful words of others instead of purposefully reminding my soul of healing words from You. I come to You today with a soul that is tired. Tired of running. Tired of hiding. Tired of feeling like I’m never quite enough. Help me receive and believe the words that You say are true about me. That I am a treasure. That I am beautiful. That I am chosen and set apart. Even with all my flaws. Even with all these scars. Strip away every label, every lie, and even the masks I’ve desperately tried to hold in place, and help me simply stand before You today. Naked and unashamed. Fully known and lavishly loved. I pray this through Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.”

Week Three

Readings this week: Chapters 5 – 6 of It’s Not Supposed to be This Way

“The enemy of my soul didn't want me painting that day. To create meant that I would look a little bit like my Creator. To overcome the terrifying angst of the blank canvas meant I would forever have more compassion for other artists. You better believe as I placed the first blue and gray strokes onto the white emptiness before me, the "not good enough" statement was pulsing through my head in almost deafening tones...
This parlaying lie is one of his favorite tactics to keep you disillusioned by disappointments. Walls go up, emotions run high, we get guarded, defensive, demotivated, and paralyzed by the endless ways we feel doomed to fail. This is when we quit. This is when we settle for the ease of facebook.... This is when we get a job to simply make money instead of pursuing our calling to make a difference. This is when we put the paintbrush down and don't even try.
So there I was. Standing before my painted blue boat, making a choice of which voice to listen to.
I'm convinced God was smiling. Pleased. Asking me to find delight in what is right. Wanting me to have compassion for myself by focusing on that part of my painting that expressed something beautiful. To just be eager to give that beauty to whoever dared to look at my boat. To create to love others. Not to beg them for validation.
But the enemy was perverting all that. Perfection mocked my boat. The bow was too high, the details too elementary, the reflection on the water too abrupt, and the back of the boat too off-center. Disappointment demanded I hyper-focused on what didn't look quite right.
It was my choice which narrative to hold on to: "Not good enough" or "Find delight in what is right." Each perspective swirled, begging me to declare it as truth.
I was struggling to make peace with my painting creation, because I was struggling to make make peace with myself as God's creation. Anytime we feel not good enough we deny the powerful truth that we are a glorious work of God in progress.
We are imperfect because we are unfinished.
So, as unfinished creations, of course everything we attempt will have imperfections. Everything we accomplish will have imperfections. And that's when it hit me: I expect a perfection in me and in others that not even God Himself expects. If God is patient with the process, why can't I be?
How many times have I let imperfections cause me to be too hard on myself and too harsh with others?
I force myself to send a picture of my boat to at least 20 friends. I was determined to not not be held back by the enemy's accusations that my artwork wasn't good enough to be considered "real art". This wasn't for validation but rather confirmation that I could see the imperfections in my painting but not deem it worthless. I could see the imperfections in me and not deem myself worthless. It was an act of self-compassion.

I now knew to stand before each painting with nothing but love, amazement, and delight. I refused to demand anything more from the artist. I just wanted to show up for every single piece she was so brave to put on display..
Might I just be courageous enough to stand before her work and require myself to find everything about it I love? Release my clenched fist and pouty disappointments, and trade my "live up" mentality for a "show up" one? It is so much more freeing to simply show up and be a finder of the good. Break from the secret disappointments. Let my brain venture down the tiny little opening of love..

And I realized what makes paintings so delightful. It's there imperfections. That's what makes it art. It's been touched by a human. It's been created by someone whose hands sweat and who can't possibly transfer divine perfection from what her eyes see to what her fingertips can create. It will be flawed.”

― Lysa TerKeurst, from Chapter 5 of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered

Chapter 5 Reflect & Journal

Paintings and People ~ We are imperfect because we are unfinished.

REFLECT: • When people see you, do they see the compassion of their Creator? How so? • How many times have you let imperfections cause you to be too hard on yourself and too harsh with others? • What might it look like in your daily life for you to bring compassion as you show up for others?

REMEMBER: • While God converts with Truth, the enemy perverts the Truth. • God wants us transformed, but Satan wants us paralyzed. • To create means that I look a little bit like my Creator. • God doesn’t expect perfection, so we shouldn’t expect it from ourselves and others. • We must get to a place of self-compassion if we hope to ever have true, deep compassion for others. • Quiet moments of compassion are epic moments of battle. • We must trade our “live up” mentality for a “show up” one. • People need to know God’s compassion is alive and well and winning the epic battle of good versus evil.

RECEIVE: Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3–4) Also read: Colossians 3:12 Revelation 12:11

PRAYER: “Father, I don’t want to let disappointment and heartbreak cause me to approach this life more cautious than creative. More critical than compassionate. More cynical than surrendered. Thank You for the ways You tenderly meet me in my brokenness and my pain. And thank You for reminding me that I still have light and beauty to offer to this world. Today, I am choosing to grab the brush. No attempts at perfection. No apologizing or strategizing. Just me. Lighting this world with my color. Showing up with Your compassion and grace. I pray this through Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.”

Oftentimes, being human means being in a place of hurting but still hoping.

Hoping doesn’t mean we ignore reality. No, hoping means we acknowledge reality in the very same breath that we acknowledge God’s sovereignty.

Our hope isn’t tied to our expectations finally being met in our way and in our timing.
Our hope isn’t tied to whether or not a circumstance or another person changes.
Our hope is tied to the unchanging promise of God.

We hope for the good we know God will ultimately bring, whether the good turns out to match our desires or not.

Lysa TerKeurst, from Chapter 6 of It's Not Supposed to Be This Way: Finding Unexpected Strength When Disappointments Leave You Shattered

Chapter 6 Reflect & Journal

A Little Too Long and a Lot Too Hard ~ To hope is to acknowledge reality in the very same breath that I acknowledge God’s sovereignty.

REFLECT: • Think back on what we talked about regarding God’s presence, process, purpose, preparation, and promise. How does this help you with your own disappointments? • Consider the list of verses that speaks to the process. Which one resonates most deeply with you? • What promises of God are you desperate to see fulfilled right now?

REMEMBER: • When things stay hard for a long time, every day feels more like walking on a tightrope than a solid and secure road into the future. • My hope is tied to the unchanging promise of God. • I know I must walk through God’s process before I see His fulfilled promise. • God isn’t picking on me. God is picking me to personally live out one of His promises. • I’ve got to walk through the low places of the process before I’m perfectly equipped to live the promise. • Not only is His presence in the process, but there’s also a purpose in the process. • The process isn’t a cruel way to keep you from the promise; it’s the exact preparation you’ll need to handle the promise. • God is far more interested in your being prepared than in your being comfortable.

RECEIVE: And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast. (1 Peter 5:10) Also read: Job 42 Psalm 40:1–4 2 Corinthians 12:9–10 Colossians 1:9–11 James 1:2–4

PRAYER: “Father, I confess there are days when it feels like You have forgotten me, maybe even abandoned me, because this battle has raged on for so long. And I confess there are times I get tired of hoping, weary from waiting, and I wonder just how much longer it will all go on. Thank You for reminding me that there is purpose to this process and that I’m not walking through any of this alone. You are my strength. You are my hope. You are my song. Help me fix my eyes once again on Your promises. And remind me to keep my hope tied to You and You alone. I pray this through Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.”

In the video this week Lysa talks about living outside of the will of God when we have unrepentant sin. As Catholics we have the beautiful Sacrament of Confession. Let’s look at the spiritual effects of this Sacrament outlined in the Catechism.

Spiritual effects of the Sacrament of Penance CCC 1469

1. Reconciliation with God by which the penitent recovers grace

“The whole power of the sacrament of Penance consists in restoring us to God’s grace and joining us with him in an intimate friendship.” It brings about a true restoration of the dignity and blessings of the life of children of God, of which the most precious is friendship with God.

2. Reconciliation with the Church

Our sin not only injures us individually, it negatively harms the life of the Church and “damages or even breaks fraternal communion.” The sacrament of Penance has “a revitalizing effect on the life of the church…and reestablishes or strengthens [the sinner] in the communion of the saints”

3. Additional benefits

• eliminates the fear of eternal punishment incurred by mortal sins

• removes, at least in part, the temporal punishment resulting from sin

• brings peace, serenity of conscience, and spiritual consolation

• gives an increase of the spiritual strength to avoid sin in the future.

CATHOLIC AUDIO TALK: I invite you to listen to the audio presentation of the 7 Secrets of Confession by Vinny Flynn. The understanding that many Catholics have of the Sacrament of Confession is so limited and narrow in its focus that it keeps us from discovering the real beauty and value of this Sacrament. For too many Catholics, Confession is just a means to an end: cleaning us up from sin so we can receive Communion. But, as Pope Francis tells us, Confession is much more than "going to the dry cleaner." It's "an encounter with Jesus, who waits for us as we are.

Week Four

Readings This Week: Chapters 7 – 8 of It’s Not Supposed to be This Way

Importance of the Rosary

The saints made our Lord’s life the principal object of their study; they meditate on his virtues and his sufferings, and in this way arrived at Christian perfection.

Saint Bernard began with this meditation and he always kept it up. “At the very beginning of my conversion,” he said, “I made a bouquet of myrrh fashioned from the sorrows of my Savior. I placed this bouquet upon my heart, thinking of the lashes, the thorns and the nails of his passion. I applied my whole mind to the meditation on these mysteries every day.”

This was also the practice of the holy martyrs; we admire how they triumphed over the cruellest sufferings. Where could this admirable constancy of the martyrs come from, says Saint Bernard, if not from the wounds of Jesus Christ, on which they meditated so frequently? Where was the soul of these generous athletes when their blood gushed forth and their bodies were wracked with cruel torments? Their soul was in the wounds of Christ and those wounds made them invincible.

During her whole life, our Savior’s holy Mother was occupied in meditating on the virtues and the sufferings of her Son. When she heard the angels sing their hymn of joy at his birth and saw the shepherds adore him in the stable, her heart was filled with wonder and she meditated on all these marvels. She compared the greatness of the Word incarnate to the way he humbled himself in this lowly fashion; the straw of the crib, to his throne in the heart of his Father; the might of God, to the weakness of a child; his wisdom, to his simplicity.

The Rosary is a gift we can open again and again as we meditate on the life of Jesus. Century after century saints have written about the great graces they received praying the Rosary when faced with trials and tribulations. This virtual Rosary is a great way to follow along if you are unfamiliar with this traditional Catholic prayer as the beads are highlighted for us as we follow along.

Chapter 7 Reflect & Journal

When God Gives You More Than You Can Handle ~ God doesn’t expect us to handle this. He wants us to hand it over to Him.

REFLECT: • In what ways are you questioning how God is making your life stronger and more beautiful than ever? • What broken pieces do you need to surrender to God?

REMEMBER: • God doesn’t want us to rally more of our own strength. He wants us to rely solely on His strength. • If we keep walking around thinking that God won’t give us more than we can handle, we set ourselves up to be suspicious of God. • God is making something beautiful out of my life. • Surrendering to God isn’t giving in—it’s giving up! Giving up carrying the weight of all that’s too much for us to our God. • It’s our choice whether we stay stuck in our hurt or get renewed in our hearts. • God isn’t far off and distant. He’s closer than we often realize. • Is this news or truth? • The restoration that is impossible with man’s limitations is always possible for a limitless God.

RECEIVE: We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. (2 Corinthians 1:8–9) Also read: Job 2:7–10 Psalm 25:5 Isaiah 45:9; 46:3–4, 9–11 Jeremiah 29:10–14 Matthew 5:8 1 Corinthians 10:13 Truth verses: Psalm 32:7; 73:23; 146:6; Isaiah 41:10; John 14:6

PRAYER: “Father, I come to You today, a woman worn out from trying to do everything in my own strength. A woman ready to accept Your invitation to surrender. Today I say that I give up. I give up carrying the weight of all that’s too much for me. Take this, Lord. Take all of this hard and all of this hurt and shatter it just right, so I can be made stronger, more beautiful, and able to withstand fires like never before. I trust Your love for me. I trust Your plans for me. And I trust You will use all of this for good. I pray this through Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.”

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life"(27). These words, spoken by Christ in his conversation with Nicodemus, introduce us into the very heart of God's salvific work. They also express the very essence of Christian soteriology, that is, of the theology of salvation. Salvation means liberation from evil, and for this reason it is closely bound up with the problem of suffering. According to the words spoken to Nicodemus, God gives his Son to "the world" to free man from evil, which bears within itself the definitive and absolute perspective on suffering. At the same time, the very word "gives" ("gave") indicates that this liberation must be achieved by the only-begotten Son through his own suffering. And in this, love is manifested, the infinite love both of that only-begotten Son and of the Father who for this reason "gives" his Son. This is love for man, love for the "world": it is salvific love. We here find ourselves—and we must clearly realize this in our shared reflection on this problem—faced with a completely new dimension of our theme. It is a different dimension from the one which was determined and, in a certain sense, concluded the search for the meaning of suffering within the limit of justice. This is the dimension of Redemption, to which in the Old Testament, at least in the Vulgate text, the words of the just man Job already seem to refer: "For I know that my Redeemer lives, and at last... I shall see God..."(28). Whereas our consideration has so far concentrated primarily and in a certain sense exclusively on suffering in its multiple temporal dimension (as also the sufferings of the just man Job), the words quoted above from Jesus' conversation with Nicodemus refer to suffering in its fundamental and definitive meaning. God gives his only-begotten Son so that man "should not perish" and the meaning of these words " should not perish" is precisely specified by the words that follow: "but have eternal life". Man " perishes" when he loses "eternal life". The opposite of salvation is not, therefore, only temporal suffering, any kind of suffering, but the definitive suffering: the loss of eternal life, being rejected by God, damnation. The only-begotten Son was given to humanity primarily to protect man against this definitive evil and against definitive suffering. In his salvific mission, the Son must therefore strike evil right at its transcendental roots from which it develops in human history. These transcendental roots of evil are grounded in sin and death: for they are at the basis of the loss of eternal life. The mission of the only-begotten Son consists in conquering sin and death. He conquers sin by his obedience unto death, and he overcomes death by his Resurrection.” (Salvifici Doloris, 14)

Chapter 8 Reflect & Journal

Letting Go of What is Holding Me Back ~ What if the worst parts of your life are actually gateways to the very best parts you’d never want to do without?

REFLECT: • What heavy weights are hindering you and need to be thrown off? (Hebrews 12:1) • What sins are easily entangling you? (Hebrews 12:1) • What would it look like for you to persevere right now? (Hebrews 12:2) • What joy has been set before you and will help you endure? (Hebrews 12:2)

REMEMBER: • Sometimes hardship happens not because of what you’ve done but because of something God is doing. • When you are chosen for suffering, you are chosen for the blessing of displaying the works of God. • God isn’t causing this pain and suffering—He’s allowing it. • Sin entangles and strangles our ability to run this race of life well. • My deepest desperation can lead to a great revelation from God. • God will use suffering to shape us, mold us, and make us even better prepared for our purpose. • When we are afflicted, we are being made more effective! • In the end, not only will our suffering produce perseverance—endurance for our race—but it will bring forth hope.

RECEIVE: Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:1–2) Also read: Psalm 51:1–15 John 9:1–7, 35–38 Romans 5:1–4

PRAYER: “Father, This is what I want: to run with perseverance the race You have set before me. To keep moving forward even when the enemy’s taunts are deafening and my own flesh is demanding that I give up and turn back. Open my eyes to see anything and everything that is hindering me. Search my heart. Examine my life. And help me grab firmly onto the truth that You are for me and not against me. You are not a God who picks on me. You are a God who has handpicked me. And I want to live a life that brings You glory. Help me catch my breath today, Lord. I’m ready to get moving once again. I pray this through Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.”

CATHOLIC AUDIO TALK: I invite you to listen to this audio presentation. Suffering is a mystery we all face at some time in our lives. Whether it is physical, emotional, or spiritual, it will test our faith. Internationally known speaker Jeff Cavins shares personal insights he gained through his own physical pain. He shows us how we can join our sufferings with those of Jesus on the cross, bringing renewed meaning to the suffering we experience in our lives

Week Five

Readings This Week: Chapters 9 – 10 of It’s Not Supposed to be This Way

“A few months ago, I was walking with a friend. And as we were walking, we passed these huge trees that had fallen during a storm. I was so sad to see these trees that once stood so tall. They were being cut apart and hauled away. I stopped because I just knew I had to ask the guys clearing the debris why these two trees in particular hadn't been able to withstand the storm.

So there was an older man there with a fabulous southern drawl who was able to explain the demise of both of these trees. He explained that the first tree had incredibly shallow roots for such a big tree. Its roots had grown used to getting surface water from the sprinkler system. And as a result, the roots didn't dig down deep to get water below. Shallow roots can keep a big tree alive but not stable during storms.

Then there was a second tree. And it looked so big and strong on the outside. But when it was cut apart, we could see it was completely hollowed out on the inside. And you know what caused the tree to rot out on the inside? The answer was shocking to me. It was an ant. At some point, an ant had found a weak spot in the tree and started chewing a little tiny tunnel into the tree center. Soon other ants found their way in as well. Soon other ants found their way in as well. And over time, the tree rotted away internally.

What looked so big and so stable on the outside was nothing but a hollowed-out shell.

You know, I think both of these fallen trees hold a profound warning for each of us personally. Just like the tree with shallow roots, if we aren't digging deep to seek the source of living water, to seek the word of God for ourselves, we will not have the grounding necessary to stand strong when the world's ways try to pull us down. And you know, I think it's important. I try to remind myself of this often. We must seek and apply God's truth every day so we aren't so easily swayed by opinions and longings that are not in line with God's truth. Shallow seeking will lead to shallow believing—that dangerous place where we'll fall for whatever opinions, whatever longings make us more comfortable and make our lives more convenient.

Chapter 9 Lysa TerKeurst

Chapter 9 Reflect & Journal

Exposing The Enemy: If my Bible is collecting dust and my conscience is being hushed, then my heart is in danger of being crushed.

REFLECT: • If your temptations had warning labels on them, what would they say? • What seemingly small ways are you allowing the enemy to enter your disappointments? • Consider the three ways the enemy comes after us. Did any of these surprise you? How will you be more alert to his schemes?

REMEMBER:

 • Dangerous desires birthed inside our unsettled disappointments are nothing but a setup for a takedown; The enemy wants to tempt, deceive, and accuse you. • Temptation only works if our enemy keeps the consequences hidden from us. • Truth sheds light on darkness and helps us see what a horrible trap Satan is luring us into. • Your soul is made by God to respond to Truth.• God is the author of the Truth that empowers us. Satan is the author of the deception that imprisons us. • The enemy’s deception is hand-designed to draw your attention, affection, and worship away from God.• If we are going to be true to ourselves, we’d better make sure we are being true to our most surrendered, healed, and healthy selves. • God isn’t expecting perfection. He just wants us to be perfectly surrendered to His way and His Word. • If I forget my soul hunger can only be satisfied by daily doses of truth, I’m prone to snack on deception. • Your story will not be wasted.

RECEIVE: Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming. As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.” (1 Peter 1:13–16)

Also read: Genesis 3:14/Psalm 18:30–32;19:14/Jeremiah 17:9/ John 10:10/1 Corinthians 10:23/Galatians 6:7–8/Ephesians 2:1–5/ Hebrews 4:12–16/James 1:13–17, 21–22; 5:13–16/1 Peter 1:6–7/ 2 Peter 1:4; 2:17–19; 3:9/Revelation 12:10–11

“Father, I don’t want to be someone the enemy can easily isolate or intimidate. A woman readily influenced by his lies and seduced by his crafty plans. I want to live this life free of his entanglements. That’s why I’m so thankful for the incredible gift of Your Word. Guide me and teach me each day as I sit and read Your Truth. Let it prepare my heart and mind for battle. Enlightening and empowering me. Convicting and comforting me. Shedding light on the enemy’s schemes and giving me the strength I need to stand. I declare today that while the enemy is vicious, he will not be victorious in my life. Not with You and Your truths working mightily in my heart and my life. I pray this through Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.”

“While the first great chapter of the Gospel of suffering is written down, as the generations pass, by those who suffer persecutions for Christ's sake, simultaneously another great chapter of this Gospel unfolds through the course of history. This chapter is written by all those who suffer together with Christ, uniting their human sufferings to his salvific suffering. In these people there is fulfilled what the first witnesses of the Passion and Resurrection said and wrote about sharing in the sufferings of Christ.

Therefore in those people there is fulfilled the Gospel of suffering, and, at the same time, each of them continues in a certain sense to write it: they write it and proclaim it to the world, they announce it to the world in which they live and to the people of their time.

Down through the centuries and generations it has been seen that in suffering there is concealed a particular power that draws a person interiorly close to Christ, a special grace. To this grace many saints, such as Saint Francis of Assisi, Saint Ignatius of Loyola and others, owe their profound conversion. A result of such a conversion is not only that the individual discovers the salvific meaning of suffering but above all that he becomes a completely new person. He discovers a new dimension, as it were, of his entire life and vocation. This discovery is a particular confirmation of the spiritual greatness which in man surpasses the body in a way that is completely beyond compare. When this body is gravely ill, totally incapacitated, and the person is almost incapable of living and acting, all the more do interior maturity and spiritual greatness become evident, constituting a touching lesson to those who are healthy and normal.”

“The Divine Redeemer wishes to penetrate the soul of every sufferer through the heart of his holy Mother, the first and the most exalted of all the redeemed. As though by a continuation of that motherhood which by the power of the Holy Spirit had given him life, the dying Christ conferred upon the ever Virgin Mary a new kind of motherhood—spiritual and universal—towards all human beings, so that every individual, during the pilgrimage of faith, might remain, together with her, closely united to him unto the Cross, and so that every form of suffering, given fresh life by the power of this Cross, should become no longer the weakness of man but the power of God. However, this interior process does not always follow the same pattern. It often begins and is set in motion with great difficulty. Even the very point of departure differs, people react to suffering in different ways.”

“Gradually, as the individual takes up his cross, spiritually uniting himself to the Cross of Christ, the salvific meaning of suffering is revealed before him. He does not discover this meaning at his own human level, but at the level of the suffering of Christ.” (Salvifici Doloris, 26)

Chapter 10 Reflect & Journal

Fighting Words: Comfort isn’t a solution to seek; rather it’s a by-product we’ll reap when we stay close to the Lord.

REFLECT: • What if your “I don’t know” is helping you, not hurting you? Even now, what positives can you see coming from your season of disappointment? • What comforts and certainties are you craving right now that could possibly result in complacency down the road, drawing your heart further away from God? • We all need to have some fighting words on hand so we can declare God’s truth over our difficult situations. Which declaration at the end of this chapter spoke to your heart and circumstance the most?

REMEMBER: • Being lulled into a false sense of security is worse than going through the process of suffering. • To be like Jesus, we must become more and more saturated with Him and less and less saturated with our human ways of processing circumstances. • These disappointments we all go through are actually divine appointments to see God do a new thing. • If we have a misunderstanding of God, we will most certainly have a wrong understanding of our circumstances. • When we express God’s truth, we depress the enemy’s lies. • Using God’s truth as your fighting words will not change what you see, but it absolutely will change how you see.

RECEIVE: God will strengthen you with his own great power so that you will not give up when troubles come, but you will be patient. (Colossians 1:11) Also read: Numbers 23:19 Psalm 19:14; 91:14–15; 112:7; 138:1–3, 7; 145:18 Proverbs 4:25–27; 5:1–2 Isaiah 16:6–7, 10; 26:3; 43:1–5, 18–19 Jeremiah 24:7; 48:11 Lamentations 3:21–23 Matthew 6:33–34 John 16:12–15, 33 Romans 8:5–6; 12:2 Ephesians 2:10 Philippians 3:15–21; 4:1, 6–8 2 Thessalonians 2:15–17 Hebrews 3:1; 12:1–2 James 5:13 1 Peter 4:12–13; 5:8 1 John 2:16

Prayer: “Father, I want to look more and more like You. I want to think more and more like You. I want to act like I’ve spent more and more time with You. Pour me out of the dregs of wrong thinking, wrong processing, and wrong reactions. Pour me into circumstances that make me desperate for Your touch. I want to conform to You, so I can be transformed by absorbing Your essence. I believe You. I trust You. Make me more like You, I pray this through Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.”

Expanding on the theme Lysa talks about this week in the video, seeing the ways the enemy comes at us, I invite you to listen to the audio presentation “SEVEN DEADLY SINS – SEVEN LIVELY VIRTUES” Professor of Theology and author, Bishop Robert Barron, in this revealing presentation as he sheds light on the Seven Deadly Sins - those great spiritual blocks that inhibit our relationship with God and others - and the antidote to them, the Seven Lively Virtues! Bishop Barron uses Dante's DIVINE COMEDY to expose these sinful patterns in our lives and show how they are effectively counteracted by the cultivation of virtue through the development of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. This fascinating journey shows the path that God has designed to lead us to health, happiness and holiness.

Week Six

Reading This Week: Chapters 11 of It’s Not Supposed to be This Way

Chapter 11 Reflect & Journal

Upside Down: It will all be turned upside down in eternity. Grief will turn to joy. Heartbreak to shouts of thanksgiving. Crowns of thorns to crowns of gold fit for a king.

REFLECT: • Would you say you have been spending more time wallowing in turmoil lately or wrestling well with Truth? • Are there any “ingredients” in your life right now—any difficult or disappointing situations—you wish you could just leave out? • How does knowing there is purpose in all the pain help you consider where the joy might be? • Does the hope of the crown of life change your perspective on your suffering? How would you feel about laying that very crown at the feet of Jesus out of a deep gratitude? • Who do you need to share your tears with? Who needs to know they aren’t alone? • The pain and confusion often found in this life lived between two gardens can leave us feeling suspicious of God, making us wonder if He is cruel and reckless. Ask yourself, Am I willing to believe He is protecting me and preparing me for all that is ahead?

REMEMBER: • It’s better to wrestle with Truth than wallow in turmoil. • To live is to love. To love is to risk pain. To risk pain is to live. It’s what it means to truly be human. • Tears are the truest connection we have with others, and trust is the truest connection we have with God. • Trust. Trading our will for “Thy will,” because we know He will. • There’s purpose in the pain and joy in the making of a life with Jesus. • Everyone must try. • Give yourself permission to not be perfect. • Refuse to be intimidated by the process. • The most beauty will emerge from the paintbrushes held by those who are most free from fear. • No human should have to carry the weight of being their own god, but so many do. • You will see what a gift it is that you’ve been entrusted with enough hurt to keep you humane. • Perfection intimidates. Compassion inspires. There’s someone else in the world who would drown in their own tears if not for seeing yours. • When you make one other human simply see they aren’t alone, you make the world a better place. • Your whys have made you wise.

RECEIVE: Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12) Also read: James 1:2–4

PRAYER: “Father, I’ve needed this look at the devastations, disappointments, and dust that seem to gather in my life. I’m tired. I’m worn. But now, I’m also hopeful. You have good plans to remake me, and I know You’ll never forsake me. Your Words are true and good, and for the first time in a long time, I believe them. With everything I am, I believe them. Thank You for scooping up my shattered pieces and making them into something even better—making me into something better. For Your glory. For my good. I can’t say thank You enough. Today I hand over my dust and will step back to watch You work. And as You do, I pray You would mold me more and more into the likeness of Your Son. I pray this through Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.”

The parable of the Good Samaritan, which —as we have said—belongs to the Gospel of suffering, goes hand in hand with this Gospel through the history of the Church and Christianity, through the history of man and humanity. This parable witnesses to the fact that Christ's revelation of the salvific meaning of suffering is in no way identified with an attitude of passivity. Completely the reverse is true. The Gospel is the negation of passivity in the face of suffering.

Christ himself is especially active in this field. In this way he accomplishes the messianic programme of his mission, according to the words of the prophet: "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord".

In a superabundant way Christ carries out this messianic programme of his mission: he goes about "doing good". and the good of his works became especially evident in the face of human suffering. The parable of the Good Samaritan is in profound harmony with the conduct of Christ himself.

Finally, this parable, through its essential content, will enter into those disturbing words of the Final Judgment, noted by Matthew in his Gospel: "Come, O blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was in prison and you came to me". To the just, who ask when they did all this to him, the Son of Man will respond: "Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me". The opposite sentence will be imposed on those who have behaved differently: "As you did it not to one of the least of these, you did it not to me" (Salvifici Doloris, 30)

As Catholics we gain our source of strength through the Eucharist. It may seem impossible to go through this study and think we can be transformed by God’s grace to view our suffering through this lens. We live in extraordinary times of darkness and we know that “where sin is increased, grace abounds all the more” (Rom 5:20). Whether we are able to attend Mass in person and receive the Eucharist, or if we are in lock down and must receive Jesus through a spiritual communion ~ His presences changes us when we allow Him into our hearts.

I invite you to listen to this audio presentation; In a recent Pew survey, two-thirds of Catholics reported that they did not know or believe in the Church's teaching on the Eucharist. Diving into the writings of early doctors and fathers of the Church, and drawing upon his own experience as a scholar of history, practicing Catholic, and former Protestant, Dr. John Sehorn addresses the “mind-boggling” and difficult truth of Jesus' presence in the Blessed Sacrament. It is a truth that confronts us, challenges us, and is one of the greatest gifts that we will ever receive.